tidal waves, tears, and the taste of ice cream

You have reached the journal of a Morgan and I suck at intro posts. I don't really know what to tell you. I am a being, I am a witch, I am involved with an amazing being, I am poly and a panromantic theoretically-kinky asexual, I am genderfluid but mostly genderneutral, I prefer 'it' pronouns but will accept they/them if that makes you uncomfortable.

When I am lucky, I write, roleplay, graphic, filk, meta, podfic, and do other creative things. When I am not, I bum around and mostly marathonread various things, be they books, fanfic, webcomics, or communities. I fan a lot of things, including fannish things themselves.

I don't post a lot and I'm bad at commenting, but I read my list pretty regularly and I'm more than happy to be friended.

If you're looking to get ahold of me, here's my other contact info. PMing or commenting on any random post also works, if you want the easiest route. Sometimes it takes me a while to get back to people even though I seem to be around; that's because my anxiety sometimes makes one-on-one communication nearly impossible. Please be understanding if my response takes a while.

Email: letmebeasong@gmail.com
AIM: linesoflearning
Plurk: letmebeasong
Tumblr: letmebeasong

Religion things go here: letthechangecome
Fanfiction goes here: apatternedfever

( An idea of my fandoms. )

This has been coming for a while, I've been flat-out saying so for a while, but the energy hasn't been there. It's... not really there right now either, but it's close enough. So.

New journal: balsamandash

And with the new journal comes a new name. Please start using August for me instead of Morgan.

I can try and sit and explain why I need the new, but I don't think it'll really come out right. I just... do. (Honestly if I could I would have four or five different names and use them on different days at a whim, but I don't... entirely feel comfortable asking people to let me do that. So. August is close to right. It's as close to right as I've found, anyway.)

I'm gonna go around friending people at some point this coming week and... I don't know, that's all I got.

Basics: So I want to write. I want to write badly and I want to write specific things, but my brain is fritzing out when I sit down and look at the list and try to pick something myself. And that's where this post comes into play.

Two cuts follow: One has specific stories I've been trying to write; one has general tropes/aus I want to jump off of. You throw me a thing you want to see off either; I will write 300 or more words for it. (These may be jumping in the middle to things I have half-written in my head, and may not make wonderful sense without the larger story, but I'll do my best to make them make some kind of sense.)

You can pick things other people have picked, because that will just mean I get more written of it. Feel free to ask for multiple things. Also feel free to ask for more of something I've started writing by commenting to it, and I'll aim for another 300+.

( Stories: 20 under the cut, a ridiculous amount MCU, mostly fandom, some original )

( AUs )

I'm repeatedly getting stuck in apparel, and I'm still alive

I'm being trained on phones so I just kind of get a knot in my stomach every time I pass the fitting room waiting for it to ring, and I'm still alive

I lost my card and that sucked, but the new one will get to me tomorrow, and I'm still alive

I feel absolutely awful and this downslide does not want to quit, but I'm still alive

I haven't got the brainpower to do anything but maybe read and that depends on the day, but I'm still alive

I want to write things bouncing around in my head desperately, except I can barely coherently think of ideas let alone get them down in words, but I'm still alive

I'm going to go contemplate reading Slenderman Mythos blogs for the two hours I have until my computer gives out now. One more night. Then I have to do shit this weekend (I am conscripted for laundry, and M is at the house and I have to get them home again) but at least it's not work.

Oh, and I have days off for my con in October, which is exciting. Now I just need to buy tickets and a hotel room, which I will do tomorrow with my card, and see if I can get the guts to talk to someone about switching shifts for the night before.

Why not

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.
2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?
3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?
4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?
5. Share one of your strengths.
6. Share one of your weaknesses.
7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?
10. Which fic has been the easiest to write?
11. Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?
12. Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?
13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?
14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?
15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?
16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?
17. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?
18. Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?
19. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?
20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.
21. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?
22. Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing style. (Person asking the question is free to make suggestions).
23. If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?
24. Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?
25. What do you look for in a beta?
26. Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?
27. How do you feel about collaborations?
28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.
29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?
30. Do you accept prompts?
31. Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?
32. How do you feel about smut?
33. How do you feel about crack?
34. What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?
35. Would you ever kill off a canon character?
36. Which is your favorite site to post fic?
37. Talk about your current wips.
38. Talk about a review that made your day.
39. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?
40. Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).

Hi, I'm in a weird mood and don't want to sleep, so this is what I do.

What have you recently finished reading?

SO MUCH SEANAN. I did a reread of Indexing, Velveteen Vs the Super Junior Patriots, and the various Newsflesh shorts.

Charming, I do not have the author onhand but it was a Netgalley book that I liked and finally finished. Urban fantasy, kinda a Dresden-ish feel, I have some meh thoughts on it but overall I got pretty into it.

Soooo much fanfiction.


What are you currently reading?

An Artificial Night (reread) and Sparrow Hill Road, both Seanan McGuire, both probably a terrible idea for backroom reading because they make me cry. This is why the read of them is going so painfully slow.

The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making (reread), Catherynne M Valente, also on slow motion because of it will make me cry in public' reasons.


What will you read next?

I want to break into the various books I've picked up at Necro over the years and not read, so I think I'm going to pick one of those to start with.

Chimes at Midnight (reread), Seanan McGuire yet again, because I want to reread it before the next one comes out (two weeeeeks).

Probably more fanfic too; I am rereading whump-filled mostly-kink-meme fic and may go digging into the White Collar guilty pleasures I've collected over the years.

I will try to do a real update and maybe some prompts over the next three nights off, but have a meme for now as I try to be awake.

Give me the first line of a fic I have not written yet and get a summary, snippet, soundtrack.

I thought I was going to have more to say, but I don't have the energy, so have a very brief list for the moment.

> I have home internet as of this morning. That's going to be nice.
> Job is running pretty much okay. Managers say good things and keep trying to give me more hours, so that's a good sign right? And the senior worker there who trained me says workers are saying good things about me. So. Running okay.
> I really want to stop getting bounced all the fuck around but I did learn how to use a scanner and read modules Monday night when I got bounced to help set up Back to School. Also there are not ten-cent notebooks. They're a quarter now. It makes me sad.
> All my ability to people is gone. Gone gone gone. The job is sucking it out of me. Internet is fine, but I just kind of want to hide under a blanekt at the thought of even dealing with my family on my days off right now. So much people. So much talking. So much smiling. So much backroom chatter. Just. So much people, four to five nights a week.
> And I'm out of anxiety pills, isn't it LOVELY. I nearly broke down on the busses yesterday morning. I got through it by squeezing the hell out of Error. (The little purple octopus who lives in my bag.)
> I am trying to write and the idea of writing just kind of makes me want to cry. I am trying to develop original worlds to have something to think about while stocking, because it's that kind of work, but that's going even worse.
> I owe so many things to so many people but I'm having serious privacy/time/getting my hands on a better computer issues.
> I want to buy a lot of things, some for my sanity (I would kill for a pair of cuffs right now) and some for frivolity, but I'm trying to be good.
> The one good thing is that I'm reading. A lot. I read something like 14 books in the past month. I think they were all Seanan or Discworld. Half of them were rereads but still.
> I'm also losing weight. That's a good thing. Actually a good thing. I'm hungrier than even but the work's making me slim down and I'm pleased.
> By the first week of September I should be looking into transfers and planning to move in with Mallory. I cannot fucking wait for September.

I'm alive. I'm 24 now. I'm being eaten alive by work and lack of internet. I will be fixing lack of home internet next week. I have things to share and apologies to make and that will happen after I get internet. I am so tired and waiting on a cab to work. I got nothing else. I'm not as down as I think I sound right now, just really tired, but getting used to this has basically eaten up all the room in my brain.