today has come and gone, the secret of tomorrow's coming fast

[thelinesoflearning]

I keep trrying to dredge up the focus for a real post but I just don't think it's happening. focus is not a thing that's happening a lot lately. work and depression have kind of sapped up all my spoons and no matter how much I'm trying not to let it take everything out of me, that... doesn't really work.

the 12 hours a day. that's what kills me. if i had a couple more hours at home i might be okay. but 12 hours a day out of the house does not mesh with how my brain works. and even thoguh i keep reminding myself my scheudle is not really that rough, and my job is a fucking breeze, it still saps the hell out of me.

I think i am switching journals soon. might be switching names too. because I really want to. i just need to find the energy to... think.

I don't know. it's a weird brainspace and I'm not sure updating is the right thing to do period but I feel like I need to ramble at something and I just don't know where to go.

Comments

[rootsofthestories]

I think switching journals is not a bad idea, switching things and having new skin is always nice. When you're here,there are two Walmarts and if you work nights, we should be able to give you a ride either to or from work, so you'd only do buses one way.

Also, I think you should be January or November. I really like the idea of you being a winter month. I'll be September if you want? :D

[thelinesoflearning]

I was gonna hold off switching to the move because it... seemed appropriate? and i kind of liked having no ties to this. but. i think with everything, with the energy and the frustration and the being tied to who i have to be every day, i need it right now. I need something new or I'm going to explode sooner instead of later.

I was thinking of August, but I like those too. and. I don't know. You don't have to be? I mean, you can, I will totally call you that with no issue, it kind of suits. But. I don't know. Things.

[rootsofthestories]

Awwww, I like August too! August and November are ones that pull me hard for you as well as the other winter months. And Celia for some reason I cannot explain toyou. Hi, I've been thinking about this a fiar bit.

[rootsofthestories]

Also its kind of stealing but I like Cin/Cinna/Cinder and possibly. Thistle too

Also adding Meda Em, and I had another one in mind and I lostit. Oh! Dawn! Or Eve though it would be short for Evening.

Also, as a name, it's very generic but for you in particular? I really adore the Full Name Jack Addison Thomas

[thelinesoflearning]

I am just replying here because that works easier than jumping around to each one. And in bullets. Cause. I like bullets. They organize things.

> I will always be your Lock, especially when you are tiny, and even when you are not if you want it.
> I would happily be the November to your September, I'm just not sure about taking it on all the time. And. This is where I wished I had the ability to just say "fuck the world, I'm not gonna use one name exclusively or even primarily and people can deal with it". But I feel like if I don't do that, I'm making things difficult for people, so... yeah.
> I feel more pulled towards August than I really expected. August and November are probably the months i'd go with.
> I am totally okay with you thinking about it. It pleases me.
> I think I like Celia, or Jules. Either of them sound nice. Cin or all the derivites kind of make me smile, and you already know how I feel about Meda.
> I like Dawn and Thistle too. Thistle will always sound fae to me though. That's not a bad thing exactly, but amuses me, because I don't think I'm a very fae thing.
> I think I have too many other connotations for Em and Eve, though. I would always feel kinda weird. XD
> I have never thought of myself as a Jack? I'm not sure why, it just. Never seemed to fit. There's a Something about Jack that I do not feel like I have. The connotation with Jack-of-all-trades maybe. It feels much, much more competant and able than I ever am.

[rootsofthestories]

....Okay, I'm not going to lie, I wish I wish it wouldn't get confusing becuase you now what would be a nice pair of nmes for us?

Jules and Cecil. I just like how they sound together.

But really I really like Celia August Thorne for another full name.

[rootsofthestories]

And Lock, of course. You are the Lock to my Chessie and I think you should definitely be the November to my September and maybe Jules? I've always liked Jules for you and I'm not sure why.

[silveradept]

Long workdays are taxing on everyone, even if you think they aren't that bad.