I keep trrying to dredge up the focus for a real post but I just don't think it's happening. focus is not a thing that's happening a lot lately. work and depression have kind of sapped up all my spoons and no matter how much I'm trying not to let it take everything out of me, that... doesn't really work.
the 12 hours a day. that's what kills me. if i had a couple more hours at home i might be okay. but 12 hours a day out of the house does not mesh with how my brain works. and even thoguh i keep reminding myself my scheudle is not really that rough, and my job is a fucking breeze, it still saps the hell out of me.
I think i am switching journals soon. might be switching names too. because I really want to. i just need to find the energy to... think.
I don't know. it's a weird brainspace and I'm not sure updating is the right thing to do period but I feel like I need to ramble at something and I just don't know where to go.
the 12 hours a day. that's what kills me. if i had a couple more hours at home i might be okay. but 12 hours a day out of the house does not mesh with how my brain works. and even thoguh i keep reminding myself my scheudle is not really that rough, and my job is a fucking breeze, it still saps the hell out of me.
I think i am switching journals soon. might be switching names too. because I really want to. i just need to find the energy to... think.
I don't know. it's a weird brainspace and I'm not sure updating is the right thing to do period but I feel like I need to ramble at something and I just don't know where to go.
