thelinesoflearning | (no subject)

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So apparently there's a WIP meme going around. The problem is, most of my WIPs aren't in progress so much as half-written in my brain and a series of unconnected points of thought in documents if that. So I'm gonna steal it and switch it up a little.

Pick a number and I'll babble a little about the fic I want to write/try to write a little to share (or share what I have if it miraculously exists).

1. Doctor Who: post-S6 probably canon-divergent fic with trans!Rory, an Amy into genderplay, wonky time stuff, the consequences of fucked-up timelines and recalling multiple timelines, a little PTSD, okay maybe a lot of PTSD, and all those good things I wanted more of from canon
2. Hannibal: Hannibal Lecter’s Apocalyptic Cookbook
3. Hunger Games: BDSMverse AU for Cashmere/Gloss (incest)
4. October Daye: The story that takes Luna from getting away from her parents to Shadowed Hills.
5. October Daye: BDSMverse AU, mostly focused on fae teens.
6. MCU: WINTER SOLDIER SPOILERS, HIGHLIGHT TO READ: Howard Stark has been part of Hydra since it began infiltrating SHIELD. Mostly because he just couldn't give enough of a damn to argue, and they assumed it meant he agreed. (This is not an AU, because it's my canon till the movies prove otherwise goddammit.)
7. MCU: WINTER SOLDIER SPOILERS, HIGHLIGHT TO READ: Hopeless and tired, Peggy ends up a member of Hydra. This is much more involved than it sounds. (This is AU, as far as I'm concerned, though I don't plan on directly contradicting canon.)
8. MCU: Clint is bird otherkin.
9. MCU: WINTER SOLDIER SPOILERS, though only barely? HIGHLIGHT TO READ ANYWAY: Sam is bird otherkin and when he found out the program might give him wings, even if it wasn't quite right, he went gimme and didn't let anyone stop him. This should possibly be combined with the above but so far stands separate.
10. White Collar: The one that follows Peter from when he is a tiny thing and talks about growing up, religion and faith, sexuality, the point where you have to make your own decisions, the person you can trust to make those decisions for you anyway when you really can't, the things that hold on after you think you don't believe them anymore, who you are in the dark, and the Great Pumpkin. All those things you don't talk about at the dinner table. Probably divergent from anything revealed after S3.
11. Young Wizards: The one where one of Tom's fans becomes a wizard and there is meta about being fannish and also Tom/Carl.
12. Disney/MCU: Thor rewritten as Frozen, or maybe Frozen rewritten as Thor is more accurate.
13. Disney/MCU : Agent Ariel, codename Hawkeye, is sent to kill the Black Widow. What she finds is not the femme fatale spy she was expected, but a scared and abused girl dressed as a boy just trying to save her family.
14. Hannibal/Incryptid: HANNIBAL 2x5 SPOILERS, HIGHLIGHT JUST IN CASE: Beverly Katz and Abigail Hobbs, the Pretty Little Dead Girl kickass crimesolving ghosts AU. Sparrow Hill Road/Incryptid inspired but no specific spoilers, just set in the same verse.
15. MCU/October Daye: Toby and Tybalt find out the Red Room exists and is experimenting on fae children and take them down. Most of this fic is about Tybalt adopting tiny Cait Sidhe Natasha.

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Ooh, ooh, #8 please!

(Are you all caught up with Hannibal? Because the most recent episode left me with all the Hannibal/Iron Man crossover feels.)

10!

So I'm going to come back to this late and try to write an excerpt but first I'm gonna babble.

I have had this fic in my head for years. Since. God, season 2? Because I was never invested the same since then. So three years. I think you need to know a couple of basic things re: my take on Peter, to really understand where this story is coming from:
1. He is bisexual and came to this realization in his teenage years.
2. This is a large part of why he's a lapsed Catholic.
3. He still never entirely came to terms with it until El.
4. He is a little brother.

You should also know that I am probably the wrong person to write this fic on every level, but I've never seen anyone else do it, so one day I guess I will.

So: this is the fic where teenage Peter discovers he likes boys too and loses his faith. Which would probably carry into, the fic where college Peter discovers he has a massive competency kink for both genders, the fic where El is amazing in every possible way, and the fic where the Burkes just don't do jealously. That's the short summary.

Another way it sits in my brain is, this is the story where Peter first starts clutching to I try to be a good man because he's not sure he isn't damned, even though he's not sure he believes in damnation anymore, and can't stop believing in damnation no matter how much he doesn't want to. It's about Peter learning that he doesn't have to be exactly who his family wants him to be to be a good man after all, way too late for the lesson to sink in. It's about the ways that your family loving you can hurt worse than anything else in the world. The judgements you hold yourself to but would never hold anyone else to (and the ones you hold everyone against, and what to do when you care a lot about someone who falls very short on them, Neal; and the ones you hold people to without wanting to or realizing it). It's about chosen family, because there's a theme I can never leave behind.

(And okay, it's a little about all the ways I'm in this show for the Burkes, and not actually a spoiler alert, the person you can trust to make those decisions for you anyway when you really can't was always going to be Elizabeth even before Peter ever knew she could be that person. Because when it comes down to it I only really have one heart-rending, split-them-up-and-I-will-not-even-consider-reading-it(-but-give-me-all-the-poly-fic), totally-invested OTP, and that is Burkes.)

I'm not sure if this really made sense but yeah, that's spread out in a nutshell for you. This fic has been in my head forever and one day I am goddamn desperate to get it out.

(Re: Hannibal: ... Technically? I was very out of it when I watched the last episode but I did watch!)

I am coming back to try and excerpt later; for now I'm gonna ramble.

So technically I owe Mallory this fic and have for a while now? Also technically the one-line summary of the story is, "Clint is bird otherkin, and the 'hawk in his nest' type jokes piss him off because nobody actually gets it."

(Natasha is the exception, because she is Natasha. Also possibly because she's cat otherkin. Or that may be a separate fic. Can I just write everyone otherkin fic? I will make a name for myself in fandom writing otherkin fic. And maybe genderqueer fic. Coulson does not get it but Coulson knows and does not care either which is an exception in a very different way.)

And honestly, my notes on this fic don't extend very far beyond that yet, not because I don't really want to write it but because I'm not sure where to go with it. The only other notes I have on it are as followed:

HEIGHTS. Heights love will be present through this fic. It may be a theme. I am the wrong person to write this. I'm gonna do it anyway.

Let's talk about dysphoria. And by talk I mean grumble. And by grumble I mean shoot things because arrows are not actually a substitute for claws or beaks but at least they're sharp.

But there is no substitute for wings, and a love affair with high places is still not one. Neither is learning how to fly jets, but it's almost maybe kind of something.

Natasha is seriously the best.

Species dysphoria + mind control = ?????????

Baww, Peter.

...I have a random bisexual Peter headcanon knocking around somewhere, that came out of a thought experiment in queering the White Collar canon without going the Peter/Neal route. (I have a personal-meta post I want to write soemtime about how a lot of my resistance to slash (and het) is that it tends to overwrite relationships I get really invested in as intimate platonic relationships, because intimate platonic relationships ping off my ace aromanticism in ways that ship doesn't. So the slash pairing I tend to be open to tend to be ones where I don't have an investment in the platonic version, for whatever reason.) I'm similarly unsure of how I'd ever make it work.

And ooh, Peter's sense of ethics and morals and the ways in which he judges others and judges himself – all great stuff, really, and so very Peter. And the way he checks his own trajectory against others, and is willing to confide in El. (It's really interesting, comparing him and Neal, because Neal also seems to check his trajectory against Peter's and Elizabeths – call up El and ask her about love, etc. But Peter is in some ways so much more reserved, even if Neal is the one whose entire life is about hiding who he is and all his vulnerable spots.)

You'll have to tell me if you ever start putting this down.

(Also, the Burkes are so much love. ♥)

See, I have happily abandoned canon for self-indulgent aus where everyone is in one big happy poly family. (Well. Peter/El/Diana/Jones/Neal/Alex/Mozzie/Sara, with individual relationships going from absolute romantic devotion (Peter/El, Diana/Alex) to absolutely nonsexual and nonromantic siblingthings (Peter/Diana) and gradiants all along the way like vaugely siblinglike but also sexual (Peter/Alex) and nonsexual but romantic and kinky (Diana/Neal, which is a whole other fic of itself I keep meaning to write). Junes and Hughes are off in the background romancing each other and being amused by everyone fumbling around figuring out how the poly thing works.) (Though Peter/Neal does not actually interest me in and of itself. Peter/El/Neal is another story, and adding more people in on that is always good.) And I tend to default that everyone is bi.

(I also tend not to gravitate towards character with a particularly strong religious upbringing though, which may be why the combo of that default and Peter caught my brain hard.)

(And god, I would love to read that meta if you ever wrote it.)

And. I am getting tired but yes, yes, all of this is why I want to write this. Ethics and morality and White Collar really interest me. Everybody's specific shades of gray and variants? Like Peter's proverbial good man and 'earning it' and El's very nonspecific and very open to gray and Diana's very law-aligned morals but also her very personal devotion to Peter and willingness to do things like get drawn in on the musicbox and. this is without even going into the technically morally gray/dark characters and where they draw their lines, because most if not all of them do have lines. (we are not counting, say, Adler. who is fascinating in a totally different way. or Keller.)

One day. I will come back tomorrow and see if I can put something to paper, because I really do want to write this. It is so outside my experience in so many ways (says the wiccan-raised faab who has never had much sexuality angst to speak of) but I get horrifically caught on it. Even now when I've more or less given up on following canon. (I do keep meaning to poke back, I just... kind of lost touch entirely.)

Haa. My headcanon for White Collar has gone exceptionally screwy with regards to actual canon events. Like, malfunctioning-firework screwy. And I may be getting more variants of White Collar that have a DPR/BTR!Jack Harkness in them than ones that don't. <_< He gets EVERYWHERE.

I managed to wind up with a ABO variant of White Collar where people can shift into different modes in response to various psychological and physiological stressors, and heats just tend to make all the emotions in an equation really intense and unpredictable and not necessarily sexual, and Diana kinda ends up as Neal's alpha when he experiences a traumatic omega swing after a lifetime of being a beta. Because Neal's life can always get more complicated. But yeah, all of Diana's relationships are always so fascinating. I loff her.

Re: everyone's ethics, I love how very Lawful Good Peter is. And I love when the edges of that get poked at, and he has to come to terms with how that's not always the best. (Though I wish we saw more on how Mozzie's chaotic neutral or Neal's wobbly chaotic good is not always the best, either, because it's all so fascinating and they all have so much to learn.)

And now I'm just rambling. And I should probably also sleep.

OH RANDOMLY while I'm thinking about it, you may want to check out my fanfic journal

magibrain, which is where any such meta would probably go? And I feel like I should point you toward

frith_in_thorns, who is in White Collar and October Daye and who may interest you.

FIFTEEEEEEN. Oh wait five. No, four. No, let's stick with fifteen.

Uh, what is original memetext?

Edited 2014-04-29 13:33 (UTC)

I jut woke up, so I will come back to this, but original memetext: Pick a number and I'll post a little something. I just realized that's rather ambigious, but I was assuming something = excerpt from what's been written.

and if you want more than one number I can do this. Maybe babbling will help things get started. >>

Nodnod! Thanks!

alexseanchai made things simple for me by asking for #15! I'll ask for #14. *^^*

And on this one, I can give you a proper excerpt! I will probably come back and try and babble too, but yay, actually having fic down.

Pastebinned just in case for spoilers sake.

So most things on my list have been here forever; this is one of the fairly new ones, meaning I have less about it than I do other things. What I do have, however, is mostly squee for tiny Tasha and Tybalt. You have been warned.

Random notes in bulletpoint form:

There is a whole case fic to this premise, with Toby and Tybalt finding out about the Red Room and figuring out what they're doing. I... do not honestly know if I have it in me to write it. Oh, I'm gonna write about the taking down, but I don't know how much I can do so far as a real true plot. They are definitely experimenting for SOMETHING, I'm just not sure what.

Changeling Tasha? Maybe? I will figure it out but I haven't decided yet. Also she may not honestly know at this point.

Maybe changeling. Because tiny Natasha who doesn't know very much except mommy or daddy is different and it's a secret and terrible things happen to her fae parent when she's young enough to not really understand yet and then Red Room, but she still doesn't really understand how to be fae.

Tybalt totally is in this because he finds out they have tiny Cait Sidhe I mean fae children being hurt is something he's here to stop anyway but you don't fuck with tiny Cait Sidhe especially changelings doubly so changelings with no experience in the fae world. He's gonna kill them, yep.

Then they go down. No I don't know how. angry Toby protecting fae children has the strength of a thousand firstborns that's how.

THE POINT HERE IS somehow in the process of finding the tiny Cait Sidhe homes within his kingdom to take care of them, Tybalt meets a scared, defensive little redhead girl and manages to get her to take to him like a duck to water and decides this one is mine now

Tiny Tasha and prince Raj shenanigans

But no seriously Tybalt teaching her as she grows up to be more or less Raj's second

And teaching her how to survive and thrive in the fae world but also while introducing her to tinys and quietly pushing her into learning how to be a kid and it never quite works but it's something, it's more than she had before

eeeeeee

Eeeeep. O_O

(Which translates into, that looks like it'll be awesome!)

Tiny Tasha and prince Raj shenanigans

Ohmygosh yes. *^^*

I can imagine Coulson's patented Not Giving a Shit face the first time it comes up. Maybe Clint makes some noise over the comm that Coulson has to ask him about later, and when it all comes out, Coulson's all -- okay, information filed, is there anything more I need to know to keep you alive? No? Good.

But there is no substitute for wings, and a love affair with high places is still not one. Neither is learning how to fly jets, but it's almost maybe kind of something.

Maybe hang-gliding? Or parachuting. I could also imagine him being really fucking pissed that Captain America can jump out of a plane without a parachute and be fine and Clint would be paste, but Captain America doesn't care as much as Clint does.

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Fifteen (babble)

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